Nessa Barrett released her song ‘dying on the inside,’ along with the accompanying music video, on February 25, 2022. The alt-pop singer-songwriter, who believes in honesty and being truthful with her fans, has previously spoken out about her borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and sadness.
And this time, after many battles, she finally spoke up about her weight loss and eating disorder issues in her horrific dance-rock song. The song is about artificial beauty standards that lead to many young people being preoccupied with losing weight and developing eating disorders. “I’ve already discussed my borderline personality disorder, anxiety, and sadness.” “But the one thing I’ve struggled to speak up about is my eating issue,” Barrett said in a statement. She went on to say that she wanted to convey her problems while also writing a song that people could identify with. Even if listeners did not have an eating issue, they may connect to it since they may have suffered from online comparisons.
During an interview with Nylon to promote her new song, the singer went into depth about her issue, stating she had no idea it was a problem. Barrett’s connection with food worsened when she compared herself to her peers in high school. She wanted to appear more like them, so she embarked on an unhealthy weight loss program.
“At first, I’d have my mom prepare my lunch or say, ‘Hey mom, I’m going to buy lunch at school,’ and then not eat anything.” “Sometimes I’d conceal my supper or pretend to be eating it in my room before flushing it down the bathroom toilet,” the singer said.
The singer would go on Tumblr and search for pro-anorexic stuff, which she had no idea was an issue or that it was unpleasant to look at. She was preoccupied with “stick figures” and losing weight. Unfortunately, her internet celebrity exacerbated the situation. People began to make comments about her looks, calling her overweight and inquiring if she was pregnant or had gained weight. Many years later, at the age of 18, she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and discovered that eating problems often co-occurred with BPD.
The artist saw that eating issues were not being discussed enough, so she wrote a song about it. It was also her first step toward healing. Each of her writing sessions began with a therapy session. During an interview with Seventeen, she discussed what she had learned from her therapists.
“I’ve been working on this with my therapist, and we do something called fact-checking.” I’ll read a bad remark and my emotional mind will go, ‘Oh my god, this is real.’ But I pause for a moment to wonder, ‘Is this truly true?’ Does a person’s response to this affect my self-worth, self-love, or confidence? “Is this meant to be my identity from now on, based on one comment?” the singer said.
Of course, it wasn’t, so Barrett highlighted that it was all about fact-checking and taking a few moments to realize that the one statement meant nothing.
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